Tag Archives: relationships

Things you can learn from your grandparents

14 Apr

Want to know how to make a relationship last? Or are you desperately searching for the best way to get over heartbreak? Forget about learning love lessons from the latest cliched rom-com, or wasting hours reading the newest self-help book. lnstead, have a chat with your Nan and Pop. There really is no-one more qualified to let you in on life’s mysteries than those who’ve been through it all.

There’s a reason that romantic films end with a couple getting together. Because once the wedding day ends, 82-year-old Patti Mclean says married life is more like Jack Nicholson going psychotic in The Shining.

“lt’s a lot of give and take. you don’t get too much, but there’s a hell of a lot of giving. There were plenty of times when I wanted to chuck it in.”

With 58 years of marriage behind her, Patti says the only way to make it work is to shed any notions that a long-lasting relationship equals constant happiness.

“When you first get married, you expect a lot from your partner in order to be happy . . . When you stop expecting, you get along a lot better.”

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Do you suffer from a comparison complex?

12 Apr

I’m pretty happy with my career, my friends and my love life. But when I look at Natalie Portman, I feel like hitting the bottle.

The girl was in the cult classic The Professional at 13, won a Golden Globe at 24, and even with a shaved head manages to look better than I ever have. Rationally, I realise l’m being ridiculous.

I don’t want her life. For, all I know, she smells like mothballs. Still, Natalie induces bouts of self-loathing.

I mean, what have I achieved in comparison?

A quick survey of my friends proved it’s not just me who’s prone to judging my life’s achievements (and failures) against someone else’s. From what I can gather, just about everyone suffers from this “comparison complex”.

We can’t help but measure ourselves against our closest friends, acquaintances and even strangers, comparing everything from weight, careers and salaries, to our love lives, friendships and social status.

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